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Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?

Do you wipe standing up or sitting down

  • Sitting

    Votes: 13 56.5%
  • Standing

    Votes: 10 43.5%

  • Total voters
    23

Dio

~ It's me, Dio!~
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Location
England
Gender
Absolute unit
Until recently I didn't even know standing up to wipe after doing a poo was a real thing. I thought the idea was loo-dicrous...hehe. But I looked online and apparently it is actually a thing some people do.

So I wanted to make a poll and find out the ratio of sitters to standers in ZD.
 

Dan

Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Gender
V2 White Male
It shocks me how many people poo so wrong. I will squat on the toilet seat which is how we're supposed to deport our fecal matter anyway. (look it up) This position is superior as it aids the flow of the departed and it will get rid of all the poo. I wipe in this position as well, who the hell stands up? When you stand up your buttocks close together which results in a tier 3 poo merge making it more difficult to wipe and increasing the chances of missing stray fecal matter. Anyone that wipes whilst standing needs their entire butt submerged in bleech for an entire day.
 

Night Owl

~Momentai
Joined
Oct 3, 2011
Location
Skybound Coil Tree, Noctilum
Gender
Owl
If any thread deserves a ****post, it's this one. So here I go.

I grew up learning to wipe while standing. Standing gives you more space to reach around and get back there more effectively. I mean the only way to wipe while sitting is through the front where you risk dipping your hand in the bowl or get crap on your junk. Another advantage to standing is that you get to admire your handiwork and feel proud of that fine log you just deposited. It gives you a chance to glimpse at your own health while admiring the size of the log that you created. This is a time honored bathroom tradition that has been passed on for generations along with the sacred riddle and joke book.
 
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Dan

Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Gender
V2 White Male
Again you're all crazy. Sitting down or standing up is stupid, squatting is superior and I urge you all to try it, you'll never go back after.

Look how easier it is for your poop to just slide out, it's a more natural position and we evolved to poop this way.


As you can see above the right position is far superior. Sitting down results in your poop slowly scraping the sides of your rectal passage leaving plenty of fecal segments behind, the consequence being your behind will smell worse. I can smell a sitter a mile away, and so can many others, it's unpleasant.

Sitting down also increases the chances of hemorrhoids, uriney infections(ladies), and colon disease.

This needs to be the norm for the sake of our planets health!
Down with the sitters and down with the standers.
 
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Dio

~ It's me, Dio!~
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Location
England
Gender
Absolute unit
Again you're all crazy. Sitting down or standing up is stupid, squatting is superior and I urge you all to try it, you'll never go back after.

Look how easier it is for your poop to just slide out, it's a more natural position and we evolved to poop this way.


As you can see above the right position is far superior. Sitting down results in your poop slowly scraping the sides of your rectal passage leaving plenty of fecal segments behind, the consequence being your behind will smell worse. I can smell a sitter a mile away, and so can many others, it's unpleasant.

Sitting down also increases the chances of hemorrhoids, uriney infections(ladies), and colon disease.

This needs to be the norm for the sake of our planets health!
Down with the sitters and down with the standers.
Reminds me of my time in Japan. They had those in some places. This one time I saw that obviously a foreigner had tried one and his log had missed the bowl entirely.
 

Ninja

The Lurkness Monster
Joined
Jul 5, 2017
I wipe sitting down however after said wiping, I use flushable One Wipe Charlie's. Peppermint, tingly wipes to finish the job.

You'd be amazed at what you miss.
 
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Dan

Joined
Sep 19, 2011
Gender
V2 White Male
Reminds me of my time in Japan. They had those in some places. This one time I saw that obviously a foreigner had tried one and his log had missed the bowl entirely.
That foreigner was you wasn't it? :bubsy:
Still, I swear our Bri'ish public toilets are as bad and people have no excuse there! The amount of times I've seen **** all over the toilet seat, how do you mess that up? Another reason to squat if you should ever find yourself in a public toilet, which should be never. I would rather **** on a cactus.
 
Last edited:

Dio

~ It's me, Dio!~
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Location
England
Gender
Absolute unit
That foreigner was you wasn't it? :bubsy:
Still, I swear our Bri'ish public toilets are as bad and people have no excuse there! The amount of times I've seen **** all over the toilet sit, how do you mess that up? Another reason to squat if you should ever find yourself in a public toilet, which should be never. I would rather **** on a cactus.
Actually no. I did not use a squat toilet when there are perfectly good music playing heated seat toilets that spray water up your bum when you finish your poo. And you get to pick the power setting!

It is true some of our public toilets are terrible but I doubt there are accidental misses. People just like to **** on the floor to ruin them for others.
 

Jamie

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out...
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Gender
trans-pan-demi-ethno-christian-math-autis-genderfluid-cheesecake
The people who stand up are the same ones who used to talk their shirt off to pee as a kid.
 

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