- Joined
- Aug 29, 2011
- Location
- Portland, OR
I'm sorry to hear that, ZH. : /
I'm in a bit of a situation, haha. (prepare for a looooong read. @.@) There's a girl I've been good friends with for almost a year; over the course of the summer, we started becoming a bit more to each other. It started when her boyfriend dumped her out of nowhere back in June, and early on in July, she and I were much closer and flirtatious than before. A lot of cuddling, hand-holding, etcetera. So things were going well, and we eventually both told one another how we felt and set up a date.
This is where things became uncertain. I went away to Canada for a week and she went camping; I came back, we hung out a couple times, but I could tell we didn't quite have that same spark when we were together. Or rather, while I felt the same, it seemed as though her interest was waning, for whatever reason.
Things proceeded extremely slowly between us. More than a month after coming back from my trip, we finally had the date we had planned a week before I left. Suffice to say, things weren't going as well as I had hoped. She seemed to enjoy herself and we had a good time, but it felt more like we were just hanging out as friends. I didn't really make any moves because I just got the feeling that she wasn't feeling it, which discouraged me.
So our contact became even more sparse following the date. So I sort of groveled for most of the following week, trying to figure out how I could rekindle that spark. One night I stopped by a friend's house who invited me to hang out, and a couple other people were there. His friend, a guy notoriously good with women, and a girl.
So, I stayed and hung out, talked, nothing big. I definitely didn't try to leave much of an impression on the aforementioned girl outside of some small talk and whatnot. So the next day, I go jogging at night and come to realize that perhaps the best way to win back the girl's interest is to make her jealous. I'm not a fan of playing games, but I knew for a fact she was very jealous by nature, and perhaps the reason she had started ignoring me was because I was too devoted to the idea of being with her.
So I plan with the friend I hung out with from the previous night, and I feel pretty great about the whole plot. Then, out of nowhere, the girl from the previous night (who added me on facebook) sends me her number and starts texting me. I shrug it off initially, pre-occupied with my own agenda, but the next day it becomes obvious that she's flirting.
The next day I meet with the same friend, along with the ladies man who was originally with the girl who started texting me when I met her, and a female friend of mine that had agreed to "flirt" with me in front of the girl who I'm trying to get to notice me again. We start planning and I keep getting texts from the girl from the other night, and the ladies man guy just kind of chuckles and says that she started ignoring him the previous day, which is when she started texting me like crazy. So we all agree that this girl is quite interested in me.
Her interest in me continues to rise, and I find out a detail that fits in nicely with our plan to make the other girl jealous; she works at the same restaurant we all planned on going to eat at before hanging out as a group, and we figure that she'll flirt with me in front of the other girl if we go there, thus provoking her jealousy.
At this point everything just starts flowing naturally, but I make sure not to be flirty with the girl who's texting me, because I don't want to toy with her feelings. Regardless, she starts flirting with me more and more forwardly, and by Friday, when we all get to the restaurant, she's pretty smitten. The girl who I aimed to make jealous reacted much more strongly than I anticipated, despite the fact that I didn't end up actually doing anything. The actual "plan" never got carried out, because we were going to meet up with the female friend who was going to "flirt" with me later on, after eating.
While eating, the girl who had been texting me kept coming back to our table and talking to me, and while she was obviously interested (and everyone could tell) I remained pretty neutral, just making polite conversation. However, the other girl became increasingly agitated, sending me texts such as "Why are you acting weird? Are you mad at me?", and when I offered to talk things over with her, she blew me off and angrily walked away from me.
So on our way back to my friend's house (we walked) she avoided me and was very closed off, and when we got there, she decided to just walk to her house. 30 minutes later I start receiving very angry texts from her acting as though I was putting the moves on the girl at the restaurant, and everyone else agreed that wasn't the case at all.
So obviously, she still had interest in me, but she became incredibly frustrated and I wasn't sure if it was just an initial over-reaction or if she was genuinely that jealous. So she avoided talking to me for a couple days; in that time, the OTHER girl started talking to me more and more, and I decided to tell her about the situation with the other girl and how she had become jealous upon seeing her talk to me.
I told her this in the hopes that maybe she would ease off, and she was really cool about it; I knew the girl who had been texting me wasn't the jealous type and would likely understand, so I felt like telling her was the best thing I could do at the point, to avoid awkwardness. So we both kept talking and agreed to be friends.
But of course things don't end up being that simple.
Over the next few days she has an increasingly hard time sticking with her own oath to remain friends. Her flirtations become even more obvious and she texts me more and more. Basically, from her perspective, it was like I was playing hard to get. This girl was one of the popular types in school, and still coaches cheerleaders, so you can kind of imagine that she's not used to guys not being crazy for her instead of vice versa. Essentially, I presented a challenge, and she wanted her way, so she was gonna go for it.
At the same time, the first girl apologized for over-reacting and we're on good terms once again. We're going to hang out sometime this week, just me and her, and I hope that something finally happens between us. Not just for my sake, but also because things can't keep progressing as they are with the other girl.
No matter what I do she persists. I don't flirt back and while I talk to her and joke around, I don't really leave much room for her to work with. Or at least, I don't try to. Heck, the other night me and the ladies man concocted a plan of our own to try and reverse our situations. She invited the both of us to a football game, we attended, and we both initially ignored her, which made her a bit crazy. Then he started talking to her a lot more and I still just sat back, and yet even then, she persisted. He got up to go to the bathroom, for example, and while we were sitting away from her, she got up and took his spot next to me and just kept at it.
I was almost entirely silent around her and yet she still persists. He hung out with her later that night and I went home thinking maybe the plan still had a shot of working, but still, she texted me. And I can't ignore her texts because, well, for one I'm a nice guy, and two, I've tried, and after like 10 minutes she texts me again. xD
Wellll that's about my entire situation, haha. Basically; I'm in a love triangle. I really want something more with the first girl but I don't want to hurt the second girl. Argh.
I'm in a bit of a situation, haha. (prepare for a looooong read. @.@) There's a girl I've been good friends with for almost a year; over the course of the summer, we started becoming a bit more to each other. It started when her boyfriend dumped her out of nowhere back in June, and early on in July, she and I were much closer and flirtatious than before. A lot of cuddling, hand-holding, etcetera. So things were going well, and we eventually both told one another how we felt and set up a date.
This is where things became uncertain. I went away to Canada for a week and she went camping; I came back, we hung out a couple times, but I could tell we didn't quite have that same spark when we were together. Or rather, while I felt the same, it seemed as though her interest was waning, for whatever reason.
Things proceeded extremely slowly between us. More than a month after coming back from my trip, we finally had the date we had planned a week before I left. Suffice to say, things weren't going as well as I had hoped. She seemed to enjoy herself and we had a good time, but it felt more like we were just hanging out as friends. I didn't really make any moves because I just got the feeling that she wasn't feeling it, which discouraged me.
So our contact became even more sparse following the date. So I sort of groveled for most of the following week, trying to figure out how I could rekindle that spark. One night I stopped by a friend's house who invited me to hang out, and a couple other people were there. His friend, a guy notoriously good with women, and a girl.
So, I stayed and hung out, talked, nothing big. I definitely didn't try to leave much of an impression on the aforementioned girl outside of some small talk and whatnot. So the next day, I go jogging at night and come to realize that perhaps the best way to win back the girl's interest is to make her jealous. I'm not a fan of playing games, but I knew for a fact she was very jealous by nature, and perhaps the reason she had started ignoring me was because I was too devoted to the idea of being with her.
So I plan with the friend I hung out with from the previous night, and I feel pretty great about the whole plot. Then, out of nowhere, the girl from the previous night (who added me on facebook) sends me her number and starts texting me. I shrug it off initially, pre-occupied with my own agenda, but the next day it becomes obvious that she's flirting.
The next day I meet with the same friend, along with the ladies man who was originally with the girl who started texting me when I met her, and a female friend of mine that had agreed to "flirt" with me in front of the girl who I'm trying to get to notice me again. We start planning and I keep getting texts from the girl from the other night, and the ladies man guy just kind of chuckles and says that she started ignoring him the previous day, which is when she started texting me like crazy. So we all agree that this girl is quite interested in me.
Her interest in me continues to rise, and I find out a detail that fits in nicely with our plan to make the other girl jealous; she works at the same restaurant we all planned on going to eat at before hanging out as a group, and we figure that she'll flirt with me in front of the other girl if we go there, thus provoking her jealousy.
At this point everything just starts flowing naturally, but I make sure not to be flirty with the girl who's texting me, because I don't want to toy with her feelings. Regardless, she starts flirting with me more and more forwardly, and by Friday, when we all get to the restaurant, she's pretty smitten. The girl who I aimed to make jealous reacted much more strongly than I anticipated, despite the fact that I didn't end up actually doing anything. The actual "plan" never got carried out, because we were going to meet up with the female friend who was going to "flirt" with me later on, after eating.
While eating, the girl who had been texting me kept coming back to our table and talking to me, and while she was obviously interested (and everyone could tell) I remained pretty neutral, just making polite conversation. However, the other girl became increasingly agitated, sending me texts such as "Why are you acting weird? Are you mad at me?", and when I offered to talk things over with her, she blew me off and angrily walked away from me.
So on our way back to my friend's house (we walked) she avoided me and was very closed off, and when we got there, she decided to just walk to her house. 30 minutes later I start receiving very angry texts from her acting as though I was putting the moves on the girl at the restaurant, and everyone else agreed that wasn't the case at all.
So obviously, she still had interest in me, but she became incredibly frustrated and I wasn't sure if it was just an initial over-reaction or if she was genuinely that jealous. So she avoided talking to me for a couple days; in that time, the OTHER girl started talking to me more and more, and I decided to tell her about the situation with the other girl and how she had become jealous upon seeing her talk to me.
I told her this in the hopes that maybe she would ease off, and she was really cool about it; I knew the girl who had been texting me wasn't the jealous type and would likely understand, so I felt like telling her was the best thing I could do at the point, to avoid awkwardness. So we both kept talking and agreed to be friends.
But of course things don't end up being that simple.
Over the next few days she has an increasingly hard time sticking with her own oath to remain friends. Her flirtations become even more obvious and she texts me more and more. Basically, from her perspective, it was like I was playing hard to get. This girl was one of the popular types in school, and still coaches cheerleaders, so you can kind of imagine that she's not used to guys not being crazy for her instead of vice versa. Essentially, I presented a challenge, and she wanted her way, so she was gonna go for it.
At the same time, the first girl apologized for over-reacting and we're on good terms once again. We're going to hang out sometime this week, just me and her, and I hope that something finally happens between us. Not just for my sake, but also because things can't keep progressing as they are with the other girl.
No matter what I do she persists. I don't flirt back and while I talk to her and joke around, I don't really leave much room for her to work with. Or at least, I don't try to. Heck, the other night me and the ladies man concocted a plan of our own to try and reverse our situations. She invited the both of us to a football game, we attended, and we both initially ignored her, which made her a bit crazy. Then he started talking to her a lot more and I still just sat back, and yet even then, she persisted. He got up to go to the bathroom, for example, and while we were sitting away from her, she got up and took his spot next to me and just kept at it.
I was almost entirely silent around her and yet she still persists. He hung out with her later that night and I went home thinking maybe the plan still had a shot of working, but still, she texted me. And I can't ignore her texts because, well, for one I'm a nice guy, and two, I've tried, and after like 10 minutes she texts me again. xD
Wellll that's about my entire situation, haha. Basically; I'm in a love triangle. I really want something more with the first girl but I don't want to hurt the second girl. Argh.