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Common Courtesy

Castle

Ch!ld0fV!si0n
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Oct 24, 2012
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I used to think that people were weird when they were nice to me
Ugh. Isn't this the sad truth? That courtesy has become so rare, whenever it's witnessed people freak out like some alien mothership has just beamed down. Sometimes I get downright defensive, like they have an ulterior motive or something. No, sometime people are just nice. Yet it can be so hard to believe given courtesy has largely become the exception rather than the norm.

No one should feel a stranger to courtesy.
 

Dan

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Sep 19, 2011
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I think the biggest problem here is that people need to man up and stop getting so nervous around courtesy. So what if you're not used to people holding a door open for you? Is there really any harm that can come from you walking through it and saying "thanks"? It's the people who shun courtesy shown to them that have contributed in a large part to it's decline. Something kicked it off originally (and I doubt it's television...) but it was allowed to remain buried thanks to the people who were too busy analyzing to accept it.

Despite rarely getting even a nod of acknowledgement I always make a point to hold doors open for people, say hi to people in the street, stop and give a neighbor a hand if their car needs a push or whatever. I don't think there's anything more patronizing than a person saying thanks because they have to rather than because they genuinely appreciate your efforts.
I'm with blue on this one. You can't force people to show courtesy, I'd rather the person lives and choose as they like to rather than simply act a certain way because of the norm, even if you do find it unpleasant. I'll say thanks if people hold the door open for me. Simple as that.

Also got to agree with VS.
Vampire Squid said:
Every generation since the dawn of time has lamented the death of human decency and politeness. People like to romanticize the 'old days'. I don't feel this generation is any worse than past generations in this regard.
People are always saying stuff like "oh back in the old days this was better". Humans beings have always and will always be ******bags. So deal with it. :P
 

CynicalSquid

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I am shy and I tend to just avoid people. Sometimes when people just say hello to me I usually ignore it. I'm not proud of it and it's not something I do on purpose, and I think it really rude of me to do that.

I do a lot of little things though. Like hold doors open for people, If someone drops something I pick it up for them, If someone asks me for paper or a pencil I give them some of mine, and stuff like that.

I feel like doing these little things for people doesn't really matter to them and I doubt anyone notices because I rarely hear the word "thanks". I still do it anyways because I feel like it and I'd rather be known as "the nice-quiet guy" than just "the quiet guy". And no I don't just do these things for my own ego or anything, I mostly do it to help others out.
 
Joined
Feb 23, 2011
Despite rarely getting even a nod of acknowledgement I always make a point to hold doors open for people, say hi to people in the street, stop and give a neighbor a hand if their car needs a push or whatever. I don't think there's anything more patronizing than a person saying thanks because they have to rather than because they genuinely appreciate your efforts.
Likewise, I subconsciously make an effort to help others in any way possible. Holding doors open for people, giving directions to people, and even helping old bags cross the street are just a fews ways that I like to show courtesy to others (and this is coming from a guy with social anxiety disorder). I've even made things harder on myself in effort to make things easier for others.

However, I find it doubly odd when they reply to me in thanks. It leads me to think that they're just weird or something. Conversely, this sentiment is often reciprocated when the person I'd just helped looks at me as though I've done something wrong. I like to think that most people are an open book, but it appears as though neither I nor the person I'm helping can seem to effectively detect genuine courtesy, if it truly exists. There always has to be some selfish, ulterior motive behind our actions. Seems the decline of common courtesy comes full circle...
 
Joined
Oct 26, 2012
I'm with blue on this one. You can't force people to show courtesy, I'd rather the person lives and choose as they like to rather than simply act a certain way because of the norm, even if you do find it unpleasant. I'll say thanks if people hold the door open for me. Simple as that.

Also got to agree with VS.


People are always saying stuff like "oh back in the old days this was better". Humans beings have always and will always be ******bags. So deal with it. :P
That's one way of looking at it but I have to say that I generally disagree with the pessimistic outlook on human behavior. Through evolution, humans have lived in packs and lived together as societies. It's a shame that nowadays you can't even trust your neighbor to watch your kid for 15 mins if you have to tend to an emergency because you don't know who your neighbor is. We're genetically inclined to be social creatures but I also won't deny that we're inherently selfish. I do not, however, see this selfishness as a flaw but rather an instinctual realization that if we do not nurture ourselves first, we can be of no use to our fellow man. I think that the greed, hoarding, and lack of trust in one another are learned behaviors, perhaps even the beginning of an evolutionary trait as the result of fear and has manifested itself as a cold, untrusting world.

That said, there are glimmers. Every time someone holds a door, helps a stranger stranded roadside, gives to charity, etc., the instinct to help one another is hope towards conservation of what we have left.

I believe that people are good and honestly desire to be good to others.
 

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