Chuck Norris Jokes

[Tony]

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't pushing up he is pushing the earth down.

 

[Ninten*]

Well, this one is really scary but true. You could make the joke appear on Google. Type 'find Chuck Norris', hit "I'm Feeling Lucky" and it will redirect you.

You don't find Chuck Norris. He finds you.

 

[Destiny]

Chuck Norris CAN kill a Cucco
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[enemytracker]

More:

-The aren't any mass destruction weapons in Irap, Chuck Norris doesn't live there.
-Bruce Willis plays Minesweeper with real mines and Chuck Norris plays hearts with real hearts.
-For every man you don't kill, Chuck Norris kills seven.
-If you scrabble Chuck Norris, you win. Forever.
-Chuck Norris created a language that consists in round house kicks and karate, so if he kicks your a**, don't be offended, he just wanted to ell you that he liked you hat.
-David Beckham can kick a ball for 5,000 miles and Chuck Norris can kick David Beckham for 1000,000 miles.
-Chuck Norris can cast a shadow in the dark.
-Some people say that the main reason for the dinosaurs' extinction is an attack of Chuckanorrisaurus Rex.

 

[penguinboy82]

If the strongest man in the world punched Chuck Norris with an iron first, Chuck would say "QUIT THROWING PAPER AT ME!"

 

[Turo602]

When Chuck Norris came out of the closet everyone turned gay with him. And also, the Boogieman died of a heart attack.

 

[linksbro321]

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack.......he won.

 

[Turo602]

Chuck Norris got into a fight with his own shadow and won.

 

[butterbiscuit]

Chuck Norris gave birth to himself.

The Titanic didn't sink from an iceberg- Chuck Norris was doing the backstroke across the Pacific.

It only takes Chuck Norris one Pokeball to catch a legendary Pokemon.

He doesn't need Facebook or Twitter 'cause he's already following you.

Darth Vader dresses as Chuck Norris on Halloween.

Everything began when Chuck sneezed.

Chuck Norris uses piranhas as bath toys.

Chuck Norris can count to infinity... twice.

Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.

Switzerland isn't neutral. It just doesn't know which side Chuck Norris is on yet.

 

[twilight_link]

This isn't a chuck norris joke just a quetion. What happens if someone actually defeats chuck norris?

 

[linksbro321]

.........Well if Chuck Norris died the world will end.......

Also Chuck Norris can e-mail a roundhouse kick...

 

[twilight_link]

oh btw heres a chuck norris joke from Peter & Brain.

 

[mooper11]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Most kids wear Superman Pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas
The Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can beat Battletoads, on multiplayer.
Chuck Norris beat Contra with 3 lives
Chuck norris beat the 256th level of Pacman
Chuck Norris can type 100 words per minute, with boxing gloves

 

[insanity76]

They originally had a Chuck Norris Mask in MM, but whenever Link wore it Majora would drop dead out of fear. So they settled with the much less powerful Fierce Diety's Mask.

 

[CUCCOMASTER]

Chuck Norris can pee his name in concrete.

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris is so tough, Obama has a Fathead of him on his bedroom wall.



Fathead: sticker of famous people or stuff that sticks to your wall