Breaking Up

[Pen]

I know there's all different sorts of people and all different sorts of relationships. With that comes all different sorts of break-ups too.

I find myself in somewhat of a weird situation and was hoping to hear from some other people about their break-ups. I know some result in the two individuals never talking again. Others take a break and then go back to being friends. And I guess some stay friends the whole time after the break-up.

Share a little bit about any of your break-ups here, but only if you're comfortable with it. I may share my own situation later if I feel up to it.

 

[Spirit]

Most of my breaks up have been okay. They all ended early on when i felt we just didnt have enough in common etc.

Ive had one bad one though, i got depression pretty hard and it put me in hospital and i ended up doing irreversible damage to myself internally.

Would rather not go into what happened but it isnt something i want to repeat.

When a relationship ends, if it was truly special, then a part of you will always feel missing. I still feel the void in me from time to time but you just have to surround yourself with what makes you happy.

I probably havent helped in the slightest. Avoid the hospital i guess is my advice...

 

[Link Floyd]

When a relationship ends, if it was truly special, then a part of you will always feel missing.

This.

 

[Libk]

I've had a couple of break ups that I'm sure I've talked about before. The first was with my first gf and she was a lot of firsts for me. My parents never liked her so I was with her mind if to spite them. I was at youth camp and I was praying about things and I feel that I received the answers I was looking for. I felt as if god had spoken through the people around me and it lead me to break up with the girl. It was easy. I haven't talked to her since then. She understood why and we just went our separate ways.

The other one was rough though. And sometimes I still have issues where I just feel empty an miss her. After 3 very long years being stuck on this girl, we finally got together. It lasted 2 days. The 2nd day into it, she told me she was having thoughts of suicide. I did the only thing I thought was right, I told someone close to both of us. And then the next day we were no longer together. She's fine now. She's been fine for a while. But after we broke up she just hasn't really talked to me much. Occasionally a happy birthday or a hello, but we don't talk like we used to. I used to stay up all night on the phone with her until she fell asleep on the phone, used to help her out with things, she used to help me out. We were really close and I just miss it. I keep telling myself I'm over her, but every now and then I know I'm not. And her silence just kills me. It's kind of crazy how both relationships ended in silence and yet different results

 

[Misty]

Let's see:

Boyfriend 1: Cold as ice. I haven't seen him in four years and if I never see him again it'll be too soon. I'm glad he finished university and I'm also glad he became an alcoholic party boy. Liver failure would be a good way for him to go.


Boyfriend 2: At our first break up we were still the best of friends and talked every day. Then we got back together. Then we broke up again. At first we were very cordial and I cared about him still a lot. Then he cut me out of his life over a petty excuse and did a lot to try to hurt me. We haven't talked in two years.

If you're asking my feelings about break ups. Well, I still remember them obviously. The second guy is still quite special to me. There is a lot he gave me that I'll be forever thankful for. As someone else said, it will always feel as if a small part is missing. Mostly, I only notice whenever I end up doing the stuff I used to do with him or watch the shows he introduced me to etc. Then, sometimes I really want to talk to him about them, but I also don't really want the full him back in my life. If/when he dies, I'll have a quiet moment for him.

The first guy, he can pound sand. The only thing that makes him special is being my first boyfriend. Otherwise, the history books won't remember him and I forget him more every single day.

 

[pyjamas5189]

My worst breakup was with a guy I had been with for 3 years, he had become increasingly more clingy as time went by to the point he would call me the second I got in from work) while I was training as well which is stressful enough) and he wondered why I was short with him. Anyway I decided to end things but he wouldnt let go and kept calling me, my mum, my sister, my best friend and he was showing up to my house so in the end I threatened him with the police and be backed off.

 

[Alita the Pun]

Well I'm living the single life, so I don't really know much about break ups apart from what I see in movies/TV shows. XD

 

[Dio]

As I have told you Pendio there was only one breakup I was truly saddened by. This was a few years back now. I thought she was great at first but she turned out to be a bit of a crazy *****. I was kind of relieved when we broke up because all the stress was over but it still made me sad regardless. It took me a few months to stop thinking about her but I found just a complete lack of contact helped me to move on.

Most of my other relationships didn't last long and breaking up was easy. I did have one girlfriend who turned out to be a lesbian which I was quite glad to hear to be honest with you.

 

[Misty]

My worst breakup was with a guy I had been with for 3 years, he had become increasingly more clingy as time went by to the point he would call me the second I got in from work) while I was training as well which is stressful enough) and he wondered why I was short with him. Anyway I decided to end things but he wouldnt let go and kept calling me, my mum, my sister, my best friend and he was showing up to my house so in the end I threatened him with the police and be backed off.

I can relate to the clingy thing, although not the police thing. (thank god) 1st boyfirend, he just literally texted and called me almost every minute of the day and if I was at work or just busy, he'd take it terribly personally. When I told him to back off, he took it like a slap to the face even though at the time I was sick as the devil with an iron deficiency and a bladder infection and had uni finals. Instead of taking that to heart, he decided to come over to my house and be all victimized about it even after I explained my work, school, and health situation like four times.

Protip boys: Girls like guys who use soap and aren't creepily attached to their existence at all times. <---My PSA for likely zero of the people reading this.

 

[Dio]

Protip boys: Girls like guys who use soap and aren't creepily attached to their existence at all times. <---My PSA for likely zero of the people reading this.

Excellent tip. I take a great pride in personal hygiene. I have a shower once a month and when I do I use soap. It is the secret to my success.

 

[Deleted member 14134]

Protip boys: Girls like guys who use soap and aren't creepily attached to their existence at all times. <---My PSA for likely zero of the people reading this.

I can relate to this. I think people imagine it'd be great to have someone super attached to them until it actually happens but when you can't go more than 5 minutes without responding to a text it's unbearable. Give me some room to breath, I have a life to. Anyways, I had a girl like that where I told her I was going to be writing a test and the entire time she texted me then was questioning me if I was really that busy after it. She even started giving my number to her friends to call me to see if I was ignoring her. I had just started dating her and she didn't know where I lived so I changed my number because it was getting really carried away.

 

[athenian200]

I've never technically been in a relationship, made out with anyone, kissed anyone, or even flirted with anyone. And although I didn't list it, you can probably guess what else I haven't done.

However, I do have a tendency to find myself in these situations with people who become very emotionally dependent on me to the point that I feel kind of sick if they don't show up, and sort of worry about them a lot, and feel a little sad if they decide they prefer to spend time with other people. We share a lot, and in some cases talk for 10+ hours a day every day for almost a year on AIM or in a Skype call. The thing about the situations I find myself in is that we technically have no obligations to each other, and hypothetically shouldn't be suffering at all because we haven't actually done anything of... that nature, which is what usually is considered to mark the point at which it's officially considered painful to lose them.

Generally, after a severe argument with one of these people, or us drifting away from each other. I end up feeling a strange emptiness in my gut for several weeks. I generally deal with it by eating a lot of candy and watching several episodes of Star Trek or Pokémon, and also tend to throw myself into projects in order to distract myself from the feelings. It always works. However, what I usually find is that after I get better, things are never the same between myself and the other person. We generally distrust each other and seem to regard each other as potential threats on some level, even if we're polite to each other and don't openly seek conflict. I've never had one of these, I guess you might call them "pseudo-relationships" come back from a serious disagreement where we actually hurt each other. I think I've had... four or five of these, maybe?

 

[Beauts]

I've been pretty lucky with break ups. I'm on good terms with all exes. Idk about being friends immediately. I think if you're gonna be friends you need a cooling off period. Nobody can magically go from the relationship including all the angst surrounding their break up to best buddies overnight. It's stupid to think you can do that. You need to go back to being you first. Friendship can come later. Have some respect for your ex and vice versa and give them time and space, regardless of the circumstance of the break up, thats my advice. If you're meant to be friends, you'll be friends, if you're not then you haven't ****ed them over, blurred lines or made **** confusing. If you don't end up friends at least you'll be left with fond memories of your time together/some bad memories, but it'll be done. Closure. No unanswered questions left hanging.

 

[Misty]

Ath kinda brings up an interesting idea, what about like friendships and such for everyone? Like, do you guys "break up" in a way serious enough to count with friends? I mean a friendship break up, not a romantic thing.

 

[Link Floyd]

Ath kinda brings up an interesting idea, what about like friendships and such for everyone? Like, do you guys "break up" in a way serious enough to count with friends? I mean a friendship break up, not a romantic thing.

My best friend from high school actually developed feelings for me. I wasn't able to return her feelings so she started bullying me and calling me names on social media so I had to block her and parents got involved and everything. It was a huge mess. We stopped talking actively for a semester and went back to being friends by the next school year. We're not as close as we were but whenever we do talk or meet up now it's as if we pick up where we left off.