=15 FEBRUARY 2021 - ALEXANDRIA CITY=
*Mart's first order as uncrowned Emperor was to renovate the town square (I wasted several minutes researching Final Fantasy lore for this). Most of the surrounding buildings had been demolished, and their inhabitants were "employed" to construct a massive stage for imperial decrees. It was extravagant, with speakers and television screens and flags and taxpayer dollars and other flashy things. Mandatory attendance was enforced for all residents of the Gaian capital. Mart stepped up to the podium.*
Mart: My good people of the Gaian Empire... I have come before you as the bearer of tragic news. My dear brother, cousin, friend and employer, Emperor Wart, has been murdered by some girl, who then accompanied a party to destroy his soul. This girl, the so-called Wartslayer, Cayde Shilen, is now public enemy number one of Gaia! So is the will of my new regime! And that's not all!
*The audience is in shock, which delights the tyrannical Mart.*
Mart: As Emperor, I shall take care of another problem... as some of you may have heard, I was once a Jedi Padawan, apprenticed by the famed goldminer Yukon Cornelius. Yukon, my good friend, went mad trying to fulfill the doctrine of the Jedi Order! As dark lord of the Sith and King of Altea, he directed the L.U.C.I.N.A. Project, a cloning scheme that produced an army of deadly swordfighters with intent to assimilate all real people into their ranks! I swear to all of you, I shall not let this fate befall Gaia!
*The horrified crowd begins to applaud this demagogue.*
Mart: All of these secrets have been censored from above! This planet's independence has been snuffed out by the Interplanetary Fantastical Planets Council, and now the Intergalactic Planetary Coalition of Fiction that destroyed it! And so now, I, on behalf of my subjects, deliver an ultimatum to Mister Frederick C. Kooploz... Give me a better deal, or face the full might of our easily transportable military! This is your only warning!
*The crowd, many of whom weren't even aware that they were members of something called the IPCF, cheered and clapped. Some chanted Mart's name, and others started doing the wave. Mart clenched his right fist and raised his left hand, with his three non-thumb fingers extended downwards- the Martian Salute. His fanatically brainwashed peons eagerly repeated the hip, cool gesture, with their pinkies folded.*
*About an hour later, Mart entered his study and mopped the sweat off his face. As an amphibian, water was a necessity, moreso than, uh, non-amphibians. He grabbed a bottle of Ice MartianTM branded water and drank it. The speech had been long and loud.*
Theodoric Thiefighter: I liked the slideshow at the end.
Flee Runaway: And the peasants enjoyed it, too. That's what really matters.
Alaric von Hiellenstiell: Congratulations, Your Majesty. You have successfully become a shepherd.
Mart: Thank you, thank you... You know, when I said that Wart was both my cousin and brother, I was expecting a reaction from that crowd.
Theodoric Thiefighter: ...why?
Mart: Have I never told you? Wart's mother was my mother's sister. It was quite the scandal, that affair was.
Alaric von Hiellenstiell: That's, uh, interesting...
Mart: You know what, while I'm sharing my secrets, I'll let you in on this, as a test of loyalty- Wart invited the Koopa to invade Alexandria. He telepathically telephoned Bowser Junior and asked if he wanted to make his father proud by kidnapping Princess Garnet. The Gaia-Koopa War happened, Garnet was kidnapped, and last I heard she was later tossed off the airship over the Gerudo Desert when Junior got bored. That's how I got here.
*Thiefighter is shocked. Hiellenstiell and Runaway less so. Hiellenstiell then pulled out a Sigma mask and Runaway turned on a green lightsaber.*
Flee Runaway: We killed the King of Alexandria. We pretended to seize power as the Maverick leader Sigma so that the IFPC would back off.
*Mart smiled.*
Mart: I'm going to enjoy this new world order...
