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Book and Movie Quotes.


The Creepy Uncle
Feb 10, 2012
Swaggin Roost Island
Pretty much anything from Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and Princess Bride. (My two favorite movies of all time.)

The Princess Bride
Westley: As You Wiiiiiiiiiish!

Inigo: You are wonderful.
Westley: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.
Inigo: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo: I... am not left-handed.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage]
Westley: You are amazing.
Inigo: I ought to be, after 20 years.
Westley: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you.
Inigo: Tell me.
Westley: I'm not left-handed either.
[Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage]

Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?

Wallace Wells: Okay, presumeably, you may have just seen a dude's junk, and I'm very sorry for that... so is he.

Ramona V. Flowers: This is good garlic bread.
Scott Pilgrim: Yeah, I think garlic bread would have to be my favourite all-time food. I could eat it for every meal. Or just constantly, without stopping.
Ramona V. Flowers: Then you'd get fat.
Scott Pilgrim: No, why would I get fat?
Ramona V. Flowers: Because bread makes you fat.
Scott Pilgrim: Bread makes you fat?

Scott Pilgrim: We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff.

Scott Pilgrim: I said lesbians.

Crash: This song is called "I Am So Sad. I Am So Very Very Sad." It goes like this.
Crash: [the song last only a couple of seconds] Thank you.
Wallace Wells: [yelling out] It's not a race, guys!
Crash: [annoyed] Ok this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
Wallace Wells: Sweet!
[to Jimmy]
Wallace Wells: I love this song!

Knives Chau: I've never even kissed a guy before.
Scott Pilgrim: Hey... me neither.

Scott Pilgrim: Amazon.ca! What's the website for that?
Wallace Wells: ....Amazon.ca

Kim Pine: Scott Pilgrim, you're the salt of the earth.
Scott Pilgrim: Thanks, Kim.
Kim Pine: I meant "scum" of the earth.

Computer: You've got mail.
Scott Pilgrim: [Turns To Wallace] Dude, this thing claims I have mail.
Wallace Wells: [groggily] It's amazing what we can do with computers these days.
Scott Pilgrim: [Turns back] Dude, now I'm totally reading it.
Wallace Wells: [sarcastic] I'm so happy for you.

Scott Pilgrim: I'm in lesbians with you.

Scott Pilgrim: When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

Stephen Stills: Level with me... did we suck?
Ramona V. Flowers: I don't know... did you?
[walks away]
Stephen Stills: ...she has to go. She knows we suck.

Stacey Pilgrim: 17-year-old? Scandal.
Scott Pilgrim: Who told you.
Stacey Pilgrim: Wallace, duh.
Scott Pilgrim: That gossipy *****.
Wallace Wells: [on the phone listening] You know me.

Scott Pilgrim: I can not... have... tea. <----Also happens to be the name of my blog.

Crash: Good evening. My name is Crash, and these are the Boys.
Wallace Wells: [yelling out] Is that girl a boy too?
Crash: Yes!
[girl drummer flips him off]

Envy Adams: Short answer: Vegans are just better then everyone else.

Well ****....I think I just quoted the entire damn movie lol!


Twilight Princess Lover
I have a bunch!

Princess Bride:

Inigo: My name is Inigo Montoya, you kill my father, prepare to die.

Wesley: As you wish!

Holy Grail:
Black Knight: 'Tis only a flesh wound

God: Why are you groveling?
Arthur: To avert you gaze, my Lord Forgive me!
God: Oh, stop it. I hate how people say,'Forgive me for this, forgive me for that!' it's annoying.
((Something like that))

Everything Jack Sparrow, and Dumbledore say.

Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers:
Gimli: I can't see!
Legolas: Would you like me to describe it, or shall I get you a box?

Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring:
Aragorn: *Gets ready to pick Gimli and toss him*
Gimli: No one tosses a dwarf *Jumps and barely gets it*
Legolas:*Grabs his beard*

And a lot of comedies that aren't ver nice things. TEEHEE!
Jan 2, 2012
Monty Python and the Holy Grail

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your gender direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there?
King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one!
King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse?
King Arthur: Yes!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through...
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts?
King Arthur: We found them.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
King Arthur: What do you mean?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone
King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
King Arthur: Please!
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right?

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

That's it. This movie is an endless fountain of amazing quotes.


Sep 19, 2011
V2 White Male


5 centimeters per second

Yesterday, I had a dream... A dream I have had since long ago. In that dream, we had yet to turn 13. We were in a vast countryside, completely covered with snow. The lights of the houses extended far into the distance, a dazzling sight. We walked on the thick caprpet of fresh snow, but did not leave any footprints. And like that... 'Someday we will be able to watch the cherry blossoms together again'. Both of us, without any doubt... Thats what we thought.


It must really be a lonelier journey than anyone could imagine. Cutting through absolute darkness, encountering nothing but the occasional hydrogen atom. Flying blindly into the abyss, believing therein lie the answers to the mysteries of the universe


Every minute felt like an eternity time, clearly as if it had malicious intent, slowly ebbing away from me. I clenched my teeth, and keeping myself from crying was the only thing I could do…

The past will often attack the present with the pain of your memories - Boogiepop Phantom


'"Oh, Phlinx, we have been chosen! I just know it. We are the chosen owls. The Golden Glaux has come to visit us. You know they say he only comes once a century."
"Whats a century?"
"I'm not sure but when he comes he will lead us to the basin of the golden sedge berries. We shall be his anointed ones."
"What's anointed?"
"I'm not sure. I think it means blessed, Phlinx. Yes, blessed, that's what me mum told me."
"But we be pirates. Pirates ain't ever blessed, are they? What's the point of being a pirate you be so good you git yourself blessed?"'
-Guardians of Ga'Hoole:The Burning, chapter 17-A Deadly Glitter
By Kathryn Lasky
Last edited:

Princess Niki

Staff member
Aug 27, 2011
"The Doctor: I just want a mate.
Donna Noble: You just want to mate?
The Doctor: I just want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: You're not matin' with me Sunshine!
The Doctor: A mate! I want *a* mate!
Donna Noble: Well, just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you're just a long streak of nothing, y'know, alien nothing!" - Doctor Who


Mr. Popper: "A guy your age shouldn't be talking about marble slabs!"

Mr. Popper: (after tying a zookeeper's hands together with an animal noose he proceeds to use them to punch the zookeepers face) "Why ya hittin yourself? Why ya hittin yourself? Huh, Huh? Why ya hittin yourself? That's not very attractive for a zoo official!"
- Mr. Popper's Penguins


Smash is Life
Sep 23, 2012
Beijing, China
I have so many favorite quotes:

Any time Robin says "Holy [insert], Batman!" in the 60s TV series.

Han Solo:
"Laugh it up, fuzzball"
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid"
Leia: "I love you." Han: "I know."
"Who's scruffy lookin?"
"Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I only take orders from one person around here, and that's me."

"I find your lack of faith disturbing..."
"You have failed me for the last time, Admiral."
"No. I am your father."

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning..." Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore, Apocalypse Now

Lord of the Rings:
Legolas: "They say that just one bite of Lambas bread can feed a full grown man for a day.
Merry: "How many have you had, Pip?"
Pippin: "Four."

Aragorn: "Legolas! What do your elven eyes see?"
Legolas: "The Uruks turn northeast. They're taking the hobbits to Isenguard!"

Theoden King: "Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin and to the world's ending! Death!" (as they charge down Pellenor Fields)

Gandalf: "Death is not the end; it is a beginning of a new path. One which we must all take."

Aragorn: Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of Men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!

Monty Python:
(from the sketch Spam)
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got then?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam; or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.

(Holy Grail)
Knights who say Ni leader: We are the Knights who say... Ni!

Knights who say Ni leader: "Oh! I said it! Oh! I said it again! Ah!!!"

Arthur: That rabbit's dynamite!

French guard: I fart in your genral direction!

The Princess Bride:
Buttercup: What about the ROUSs?
Wesley: Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Miracle Max: "Your friend here is mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. And when they're all dead, there's only one thing you can do."
Inigo: "What's that?"
Max: "Search through their pockets and look for loose change."

And everything else from this movie

Helmet: "Fire a warning shot across her nose." (shot is fired) "Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!"
Gunner: "Sorry, sir, I'm trying my best."
Helmet: "Who made this man a gunner?"
Major: "I did sir! He's my cousin."
Helmet: "Who's he?"
Sanderz: "He's an A-hole, sir."
Helmet: "I know that; what's his name?"
Sanderz: "That is his name, sir. Major A-hole."
Helmet: "And his cousin?"
Sanderz: "He's an A-hole too, sir. Gunner's Mater 1st Class Phillip A-hole."
Helmet: "How many A-holes we got on this ship, anyhow?
Practically everyone: "YO!!"
Helmet: "I knew it! I'm surrounded by A-holes!" (puts helmet down) "Keep firing, A-holes!"

Helmet: "1-2-3-4-5? That's the kind of code an idiot would put on his luggage!"
President: "1-2-3-4-5? That's the same code I have on my luggage!"

(I know it's a lot, but believe me, there are more...)
Nov 28, 2011
"In Heaven, everything is fine. In Heaven, everything is fine. You've got your good things. And I've got mine. "

From Eraserhead


Kid Gru: Look, mom! I drew a picture of me landing on the moon!
Gru's mom: Eh.
Kid Gru: Look, mom! I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni!
Mom: Eh.
Kid Gru: Look, mom! I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype!
*presses button and rocket takes off*
Mom: *gasps* Eh.
-Despicable Me

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