• Welcome to ZD Forums! You must create an account and log in to see and participate in the Shoutbox chat on this main index page.

Be Who You Are!....No Matter What!

Joined
Mar 13, 2011
Ok just wanted to put this out there.
I strongly believe that people with low self esteem are just afraid. I think its all in there mind cause they probably are growing up in a negative environment.
My family has tried there best to ruin me but I fought for what I believe in and I am now currently an outsider to my entire family even my extended family. I think that its ok to be gay interracial marriages are good and any other thing like that such as racism and crap its all nonsense. God made everyone the same in certain ways. But he also made us like we are because without the small difference and what not life would suck.

I am love my girlfriend for who she is. And that is a proud and amazing Hispanic. No one in my family agrees with that. Why idk????

But the reason for this post was just to say
1. Be who you are
2. No one can make your identity but you.
3. We all have the same thing under the skin.
Weather your gay straight or bi. Or black or white.
I also know I'm only 15 but I can tell you I will go far in life with what I believe weather I'm hated or loved.
 

Hanyou

didn't build that
I appreciate the thought behind this thread, but what do you want us to discuss? Would you be willing to entertain disagreement? It seems like you've posted your views, which is good for a blog post but might not be suited for a thread.

I'm leaving it open for now, but can you give us an idea of what conversation we should have here? If not, I'll lock it and suggest you find some other outlet. The thread is a bit too vague as is to warrant leaving it open without some guidance as to what it's about.
 

athenian200

Circumspect
Joined
Jan 31, 2010
Location
a place of settlement, activity, or residence.
I'm sorry to hear about what your family put you through. Some people have very strong beliefs about this sort of thing, even to the point of alienating family members who can't adhere to their values. You have to accept that not everyone out there is open-minded enough to be okay with whatever you do.

So it all comes down to a choice... do you want a relationship with the family members who have rejected you, or do you want to be true to yourself? There is no right answer, except for what the individual can live with. The answer is not the same for everyone, and it's a very tough situation.

The good news is that there are plenty of people out there who will totally accept you the way you are, but you have to seek and befriend them. And rarely can friends be as reliable as family. You're making quite a sacrifice, but it sounds like it's worth it for you.

Open-mindedness is a good thing, but that alone is not all a person needs in life. You have to be able to get along with others, develop competence at something that makes you indispensable at work, and educate yourself. You also have to plan your life, use a little bit of foresight and strategy. We may live in a much more tolerant world in terms of differing morality than we did decades ago, but we also live in a more chaotic, complex, and difficult world that has very little you can rely upon. I think that might be an important trade-off.
 
Joined
Mar 13, 2011
Hmm? Well actually it was originallly suppose to see what others thought about people being there selves...so yes disagreement and agreement where my intentions on posting it. Also I agree a blog would have made more since but I am on my Droid Incredible cause I currently have no computer. So a blog is actually harder for me to get to with my phone.
So yes if anyone thinks or doesn't think that a person should be who they are please do post an argument.

Hmm? Well actually it was originallly suppose to see what others thought about people being there selves...so yes disagreement and agreement where my intentions on posting it. Also I agree a blog would have made more since but I am on my Droid Incredible cause I currently have no computer. So a blog is actually harder for me to get to with my phone.
So yes if anyone thinks or doesn't think that a person should be who they are please do post an argument.

Athenian200 I agree I do have foresight for my future and I get along with everyone but I get along with them.all on difgermt topics if you know what I.mean. I don't want to sound conceited but I am a very hard person not to like.
I have a good future planned and everything. I just wish that people had more faith in themselves than in everyone else I guess is what I should say. Cause where I live people depend on everyone to be there for.them when I have been taught that "if you wait on everyone else then why do it at all."
Idk if that makes since to you or anyone else. I just think that people depend to much on each other now a days.
 
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
I see where you're coming from, but being yourself is the hardest task that anyone can accomplish now. All that you will see now latey is a sweet innocent young girl, or a fiery free spirit boy who is being changed by their surrounding's due to the fact that they're trying to impress the next person who they can't get along with. So, what the girl or boy will do now is lie. Lie, lie, lie and lie to seek the attention more than anything else they want. Now, let's say the girl get's noticed by a boy who she's been dreaming about, but the boy doesn't know that the girl was lying to get his attention. Once a lie starts, it just keeps going and going till it all falls down on them and crashes. AKA: The truth finally breaks through and the young girl is a outcast, yet again.

Most men doesn't really have no problem wanting to fit in or whatever so they relax, be themselves and do what they want to do, not caring what anyone thinks. But when it comes to tougher crowds and that crowd was... drugs for example, 1/3 boy's will more and like do drugs because they don't know that it is making them 'cool', and they change attitude for everything.

More girls and young teenagers worry about too much and worrying if the 'next cute boy' will finally notice them. So we have a tendency to try and 'change' that and do drastic measures to FINALLY get noticed.

Personally, I was alway's myself, heck I even LOVE myself. I was a outcast, but I don't let that bother me. I love my boyfriend because he accepts me for who I am, and likewise with me, I love him for him. We may ask if we can stop doing one thing, (Me asking him to stop smoking pot. And him asking me to stop drinking alcohol)I techneclly grew a open mind of my own. My parent's hate my boyfriend because he's Hispanic. I don't care if they like him or not, but usually parent's are the cause of most teens not being who we are. They change us into what we are to them and what we can't be. but these are my opinions :/
 
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
There's a problem with "being yourself", because what I am is viewed negatively in today's society, and even though I resist being shunned, I am still silenced by others. I like the philosophy, but the problem is that very little people allow me to be "myself". Hence why I am a bit mean towards the people where I live; I need to force people to accept me, otherwise they socially discriminate against me.
 
Men have a hard time fitting in as well.
It is hard for girls/women but, while I am not saying that anyone here is that way, it is hard for guys to and I think some people don't realize that.
We have to fill this ridiculous notion of what it is to be a "man" in this society. If we don't, were wusses or ***s etc. That in itself plays with another problematic issue with people's treatment of homosexuals and homophobia. If you aren't man enough you must be gay etc.
As I said in the mental illness thread guys won't get help for depression and what not because it seems "weak".
I am not saying women or men have it worse than the other but I can't speak for woman, I do know what it's like as a guy though.
 
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Frefthehylian what do you mean by what you are???
I am a lot of things. I'm an atheist, pro-choice, a First Amendment supporter, a keyboardist, a gamer, etc. The list goes on. The point I was trying to make was that although I follow this philosophy, I'm often if not always suppressed from doing it.
 

ケンジ

僕は準備完了しています!
Joined
May 23, 2009
Location
Paranaque City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Being yourself is one of the hardest tasks in life.

Some have achieved this, by facing their fears and their habits and embracing them, others decided to don't care about what others think and just go for it. Society and peers tend to control and prevent you from being yourself, because they set "norms" or what should and should NOT be done. People will adapt to please someone, people will follow others and deal with them just to appeal them or to earn something in return. This applies to friends, Jobs etc. In friends, we have a give and take relationship, we deal with others, and we deal with their habits. If we don't like one of their habits, we deal with it, and we endure it because they are our friends. They also may deal with a habit they don't like about you. Some may change your habits to make themselves feel happy, or you might change them. Friendship is just another form of love, you can change for them or for yourself. Determining, however, if the change is good or not, is the problem, only you will know it. In terms of job, we deal with bosses and meet their expectations in return for salary.

Dealing with others is a road one must travel first, and in your case, you have dealt a lot. I admire that and you have become who you are. And you are lucky you haven't lost your way, most people, even after achieving their "true self" they have lost their way and they forgot themselves after that, like by being themselves, they also had a chance to drive off potential peers. There is always someone in a group of your friends who will at least hate, or dislike one habit or trait you have, but they ignore it because they are your friend.

On to my experience:
I've had it when I was in Highschool, I've had it with meeting expectations and meeting their so called "norms", "status", "expectations". So i just faced them, and threw at their face who I really was. Immediately after that, I said "If you don't like me for who I am, leave me alone then! Your not my friend if you don't accept me, because I have accepted other traits you have that I despise, but I accepted them nonetheless." Guess what, 3/4 of my friends left. The remaining, still confused and had the chance to leave. But soon enough, they spoke to me and they accepted me. From a total of say 60 friends in the enter highschool department went down to 15. The others left because they didn't want to accept me, a fat guy who thinks of anime and games and is hyper active, who loves to debate and speak his mind, despite being that. I was a normal student in terms of grades, but personality wise, I was a better student than most of them. The remaining were inspired by my act and they revealed themselves, and soon enough, we were close, And after that little escapade, I was avoided and soon ostracized. But it didn't matter, I was myself. And soon, I got bullied more than I usually was when I tried to meet their expectations. I just let them wallow in their supposed superiority and let them gloat, but I see them as pitiful.


Lesson: Deal with it. It's YOUR choice. YOUR own personality, YOURSELF. If you act like someone your not, your a hypocrite. You lie to hide and meet other people's expectations. Sure yes fine, in a normal way, meeting their expectations is normal, like being good or working hard, but other expectations that deal with changing seemingly harmless traits of your personality that makes you who you are, that's not meeting their expectation. It looks more like Domination to me. Gathering "people" to serve another.
 

El Bagu

Wannabe Mr. 1-8-1
Joined
Jul 5, 2008
Location
In Woods. N of River!
Who am I?

I don´t really know. Why do I like some things and hate other things? Can I convince myself that I love something that I used to hate? Are my opinions mere illusions? Why do we have any opinions at all? What makes a person? Is it the environment or is it something else?

I do think that people should be allowed to express themselves in any way that doesn´t harm someone else. But what is harmful to others? What is a joke for one person could be a tragedy for someone else. Perception is different from person to person but not everyone has the same possibility to change the world it seems.

I guess my post could be out of topic but I do feel that the topic is extremly important, yes I do!!
 

Luigidude64

Suzune Supporter
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Yes, Link1017, I agree with you, I know i'm not much older but, I thought i'd share what wisdom I have acheived thus far (most 15 yr olds i know are stupid and lame and only care about drugs or beer) You on the other hand are, reliable, and support people in anything, you're very mature for your age, that's something that I and many other people should respect about you. Although, you didn't really write this as a thread people can reply on over and over again, but the concept of yor post is fairly decent. One can only hope to be more of a better person, but I don't think that racist people, and hipocrits should be themselves, (Just my opinion) You seem fairly wise, and I belive you could have done a tad better with posting this thread, it's nice that you posted it anyway. . . And yes, my parents are rude and discusting also, they're trying to "reshape" the world, and keeping me at home so I can't be with any friends, family ect.
 
Joined
Mar 13, 2011
Luigudude64 I agree that a racist person or people along those lines shouldn't be themselves...but now a days most kids are only racist cause there parents are not really cause they wanna be.....cause with how all the people now such as blacks and whites and Mexicans just blend now its very hard to be racist with it all being together so basically people that are racist or hypocrites or homophobes need to just forget about it cause no matter where they go blacks whites and Mexicans and Asian and other groups of people and gays and hypocrites are gonna be everywhere it doesn't matter so there's not really a reason to hate on what someone else believes its just an opinion.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom