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Bar Jokes!


The Great Old One, Star Spawn, Sleeper of R'lyeh
Jan 22, 2016
United States of America
Exactly what it says in the title, share some of your favorite bar jokes.

I'll start:

A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender “what’s with the meat?”

The bartender says, “If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else’s drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?”

The man takes another look at the meat, then says, “I think I’ll pass. The steaks are too high.”


Aug 16, 2019
Chennai, India
Titan of Testosterone
Customer: Hi! I'm new here. Can I get a discount?
Bartender: Greetings, new here! Sorry you don't get a discount.
A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey, a triple vodka and a bottle of champaign.

He then says to the barmaid, "with what I have, I'm not sure I should be drinking this."

"Oh, what do you have?" replies the barmaid.

"50p" says the man.

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