• Welcome to ZD Forums! You must create an account and log in to see and participate in the Shoutbox chat on this main index page.

Axle the Beast

Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Hi, sorry if this has been asked before. (Couldn't find another thread)

A few years ago there was a video mailbag made by someone called axle the beast. One day he stopped making videos. That day was over 2 years ago. I have scoured the Internet looking for answers.

1. Where did he go?
2. Why did the videos stop?
3. Is he ok? (Do we need to open an X file on this case)

Apologies again if this is treading on old ground. I set up an account just to find out.

Thanks.
 

Dio

~ It's me, Dio!~
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Location
England
Gender
Absolute unit
Axle left to paint fences which is where he originally went and why the videos stopped. He was later joined by his lover JuicieJ who last year found poor Axle dead face down in a tub of paint. He had become high on the fumes and collapsed.

There is no need to open a file as his fate is known.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
All makes perfect sense now. Fences. Of course. Fences and paint. I was looking in all the wrong places. Thanks Deus. I can finally rest.
 
Joined
Dec 14, 2008
Location
Louisiana, USA
I'm afraid Deus is rather misinformed - Axle was actually killed by the fence he was painting (I've heard it was a Donald Trump-commissioned fence on the Mexican border) falling on top of him and unceremoniously crushing his skull. The tale has gotten warped to be a bit more sensationalized by including his lover JuiceJ, which is a shame.

It was a sad day for all of us, but all good things must end eventually.
 

Jamie

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out...
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Gender
trans-pan-demi-ethno-christian-math-autis-genderfluid-cheesecake
I'm afraid my friend Vergo has the story all wrong. The truth is, Axle was calmly painting the Great Wall of China, when he felt some sweat on his brow. Being the manliest of men that he is, he rarely actually sweats due to his incredible endurance, so he hadn't dealt with the problem for many eons. To wipe this sweat off, he decided to remove his hat. Lo and behold, his hat produced a stench that could kill even the devil himself. JJ found him dead in a pile of Chinese noodles. Unfortunately, that was only a week before their wedding. A true shame.
 
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
I should have known Trump would be behind this. Never trust a man who wears a wig. Axle should have known better to work for Trump. We need to break down walls. Not build them.

Who is JuiceJ? I'm getting bad vibes about him.
 

Dio

~ It's me, Dio!~
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Location
England
Gender
Absolute unit
I should have known Trump would be behind this. Never trust a man who wears a wig. Axle should have known better to work for Trump. We need to break down walls. Not build them.

Who is JuicieJ? I'm getting bad vibes about him.
JuicieJ was an employee of Nintendo, he was the head of advertising when Skyward Sword was released. His campaigns were too aggressive for the big N so they fired him. After that he spent his days exposing his unsightly naked form to unsuspecting victims. There was one however who enjoyed the sight. And his name was Axle the Beast.
 

Jamie

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out...
Joined
Feb 23, 2014
Gender
trans-pan-demi-ethno-christian-math-autis-genderfluid-cheesecake
His username is ****ing JuicieJ. 3 people and not one could spell it properly.
 
tumblr_o1o4xyQNVg1r0maa4o1_250.jpg
 
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
So JuicieJ actually worked for Nintendo for reals? Always wondered if Nintendo employees would frequent fansites for info/exposing.

I wish someone would get sacked by Nintendo. Come on this forum and give us some zelda WiiU/NX details. Cough cough... But that would never happen.
 

Dio

~ It's me, Dio!~
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Location
England
Gender
Absolute unit
So JuicieJ actually worked for Nintendo for reals? Always wondered if Nintendo employees would frequent fansites for info/exposing.

I wish someone would get sacked by Nintendo. Come on this forum and give us some zelda WiiU/NX details. Cough cough... But that would never happen.

He sure did work for them. My uncle works for Nintendo himself and although the ads that JuicieJ made never went public, they weren't even suitable for daytime TV for a start. I was allowed to see them because of my uncles status.
 
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
I suppose if I was working for Nintendo I'd probably make inappropriate ads too. Samus wearing a bunny hood and nothing else would probably shift some hardware. Also it would be a good add because it promotes two games. Even though Nintendo has completely sacrificed making METROID games. But that's for another forum at another time.

RIP axle the beast.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom