Once upon a time there was a goldfish named Tom. Tom had a rare disease that made him shoot deadly lasers at random times. The laser's immediate effect was random and always resulted in death shortly after. Tom was bored and lonely so he used an online dating website to score a bind date. Although his date was a girl her name was also Tom. Tom and Tom's date when on like any other. That is, until Tom got hungry and Tom offered to make Tom a sammich. When Tom came back with the sammich Tom started to shoot lasers out of his eyes again. The lasers went everywhere, clocks turned into light bulbs, light bulbs turned into under cooked waffles, pianos turned into elephants in bikinis and one laser ricoched off a mirror and turned the mail man into a pile of Skittles! The last laser hit Tom, for a moment nothing seemed to happen, but all of a sudden Tom began to rapidly spin around. Eventually, soap and water leaked out of Tom's scales. Then, various articlas of clothing, shirts, pants, socks, underwear, etc. For the rest of her life Tom, the living washing machine, washed people's clothes with her own body.
The end