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Attempt to Be the Largest Thread in DGN History

Big Octo

=^)
Joined
Jul 2, 2011
Location
The
(We reach an imaginary beach) Woohoo! Let's swim, surf, bodyboard . . . (Everyone looks at me funny), maybe let's just swim, and, ooh, tell more stories!
 

Cel-Shaded Deku

Ha ha, charade you are!
Joined
Jul 24, 2010
Location
Rapin' your churches, burnin' your women!
In a house much like yours an evil pumpkin-headed freak with a chainsaw hid inside a seven-year-old boy's closet. At around midnight when everyone was asleep the Pumpkin-headed freak cut the kid's head off with his chainsaw.

The end. I hope you enjoyed that bed time story, children. Good night, don't let the bed bugs bite!
 

Cel-Shaded Deku

Ha ha, charade you are!
Joined
Jul 24, 2010
Location
Rapin' your churches, burnin' your women!
Your stories are violent and cruel! I like them.
Thank you. You should like this one.

Long ago in a mystical far away forest there lived a a monkey named Simon and his friend and his best friend Alex. Simon and Alex could eat bananas all day, and they did! Banana after banana after banana, every day. One morning when Simon woke up he went to his usual branch and saw that Alex was nowhere to be found. He checked under the bed. "ALEX!" he shouted. He checked in all the cupboards, but all he could find were his bananas. Simon even checked Skype, but he couldn't find Alex there either. All of a sudden Simon heard a terrifying scream. Simon rushed to where the noise came from. As soon as he did he found Alex, but Alex was dead. Alex's head had been split open by an evil man. "Ohh, delicious monkey brains!" The man said. Simon was devastated. In this mystical forest monkey brains were thought to have magical poweres that could make anyone young again! Monkey brains were thought to be able to turn anyone from ugly to stunning. Simon needed to teach that old man a lesson. Simon had an idea. The next morning when the old man woke up he came outside and saw a curious sign. "Monkey brains" and an arrow was written on the sign. "I love monkey brains!" The man exclaimed. The evil old man soon set off and followed sign after sign when eventually he came to a clearing in the forest and saw a beautiful pure 100% untouched monkey brain. The exil old man couldn't resist. But just as he was about to rach over and taste that juicy, juicy brain the monkey turned around. "Hello" said Simon. The old man screamed. "You desire my delicious brains, don't you?" "Yes, I must have those tasty brains." "Why?" Simon asked. "For I am old and I desire youth once again." "How many of my brethern have you killed!?" Shouted Simon. "Umm... twenty-eight twenty-nine?" "And have you become any younger?" The old man thought for a second. "Why, it... no." "Then surely monkey brains don't work!" said Simon. "Well, I suppose." "I think you're beautiful." "Wa-what?" "I think you look stunning." "Y-you do?" "You don't need youth." said Simon. "You look wise, distinguished." "But the women of this village don't give me two glances." "Then they are fools." "You really think-" "Shh shh shh" Simon put his finger to the old man's lips. "You're goregous." Simon whispered. "Thank you." "Close your eyes." "Why?" the old man asked. "Just, close them." As soon as the old man closed his eyes Simon took aut a massive machete he consealed behind a small bush and leaped high than he had ever leaped before in his entire monkey life and sliced the old man's head clean off and it slammed to the ground. Simon got to taste the sweet, sweet revenge he craved and the monkey town are human brain that night. Ironically, eating a human brain granted the monkies extraordinary poweres, making them invulnerable to bullets, giving them mechanical arms and shoot lasers.

The end.

TL;DR
 

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