Once there was a boy who lived in the forest named Link. He had a friend named Saria, and everybody but Link had a fairy. Later, he got a fairy named Navi and beat this big Spider thingy. Then other stuff happened, and he saved the world. But, he didn't get paid.
(i wanted to tell the Tooth Fairy Story from Darkness Falls *a movie* but that'd SPOIL it)
I have a story. It is disturbing, disturbing in a way you've probably never experienced before. You have been warned.
Once upon a time there was a panda bear named Dolly. Dolly loved horses almost as much as she loved guns! Whenever she got bored Dolly would ride her favorite horse, carry her favorite guns and ride through the closest human settlement. Before commiting this mass murder for fun Dolly would always inconspicuously stop by a Chinese resturant to order her favorite Chinese food. When she was done eating Dolly would massacre everyone at the resturant. The blood shed was a horrible sight to be seen. So horrible it would give Chuck Norris nightmares.
Dolly got back on her trusty steed and proceded to mercilessly shoot men, women, children and plants. There was so much carnage. Dolly spotted a horse factory. She shot the family that was working there then took a short break to watch the horses on the assembly line. When she was walking back to her horse she noticed that she accidentally shot one of the horses at the factory. Dolly was mortified. Dolly did not want to live anymore, so she shot her own head off. However, she somehow survived. Dolly shot off her left arm, both of her legs and eventually her body. Now she was only a right arm. That right arm became an astronaut and proved that Pluto was a planet this whole time.
Don't look now but, Dolly's righ arm is right behind you... and she has a gun!
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Evan, and he enjoyed picking his nose. He dug for gold every day, hoping to claim the largest booger. Evan had extra long fingers, so picking a winner was always easy. One day he decided to pick far . . . very far. He dug until he felt something very squishy, which he plucked from his nostril. After he did he looked at a mirror and noticed something: his left nostril was about one foot larger in diameter. Evan looked at his prize, his own brain! Unfortunately, he had another bad habit to pair with his nose picking. To this day, we don't know if that brain is still in that stomach of his or not.