Are You Used Often?

[Ventus]

Oftentimes you'll be doing a deed for whatever pretense, maybe it's good and you'll feel good, or it's bad but there's some reward for the risk. But then you might have people tag along with you to share in whatever you're reaping. Usually people call that piggybacking or something similar, but I call it using.

Are you often used by people to their own ends? How do you feel about using people and throwing them away after getting what you're after? pls only be honest.

 

[Dan]

Everyone is used at some point in their life, and sometimes you can feel used, even if that wasn't the intention of the person. How we react all depends on who we were used by, and why we were used. I'm not used too much but sometimes when it comes to jobs I have to do for others. Now when it comes to using others I feel most of us try to ignore the fact that we are using the person and try to focus on the positives we may be using them for, I'd say we have all done it at least a couple of times, Throwing people away though sounds quite harsh I don't think I've done that when using someone.

 

[Beauts]

I don't think so really. I mean sometimes I think some of my friends assume because I work that I'm going to pay for everything all the time- and usually I will pay more than my share but if they expect it I won't because expectation pisses me off. I don't let myself get used because even if I do work and they don't, they can still depend on their parents to get by and I can't and on minimum wage I'm not exactly rolling in it, even if sometimes I'll have £20 and they have £5, it's not like everytime we go out I'm loaded haha.

In other ways, I can't think of a time I've been used except for by guys but to be honest I think it was partially me too, because it wasn't like it was without my knowledge.

I wouldn't say I've used anyone- at least not on purpose. I think it's fine to have people help you along the way and sometimes take more than you give but not do it all the time at other's expense.

 

[*M i d n a*]

I would never do that, although recently it happened to me here: I was used and then got thrown aside like trash. Should I tell the story? Maybe I shouldn't because of ZD drama. Maybe if I do I will do it via blog, and only because some of you might think me as being a bad guy or something, and that's absolutely not me. I want to clear my name and let you all know that I'm as friendly as they come.

 

[Ventus]

People go on and on about how they'll never use people but I'll be honest: I use people all the time. I use my parents for money when I am jobless. I use my sister for that same end. I use my older brother for computer issues. I use my younger brother to clean up things that I don't want to. I use my youngest brother...for his headphones. And I use my younger sister for getting things that I don't want to get up to get. But I don't throw those people away. They're family no matter how much I use them. But even if they weren't, they're super special to me regardless. <3

Now, other people. I used a girl as a social experiment for five years without telling her. When she left the school, I threw her away like trash. Honest. I have no feelings for her whatsoever. I foolishly entertained the notion of some feelings of "love" for her, but that didn't work out and I basically withdrew and just tossed her int he recycling bin. I know that is a bit harsh but still. But at the same time, she used me out the ***. See, I was well known for being the smartest kid in all my classes bar the one that Maranda was in (damn...Maranda was fine, smart, and athletic all at the same time...mmm qimme dat). So this girl that I used basically played like she was an idiot, and she got me to help her using her lusty charms. And I gave in each and everytime because I was a fool! Never trust your emotions. They will see you using people at the same time being used yourself.

 

[CynicalSquid]

People who say they will never use people are in denial.

---

I have been used a lot. I think everyone has, or they have at least felt used. I have been used for jobs around the house, used to cheer someone up, used as a middle man for someone to get closer to someone, and many other things. I honestly don't care enough to pay attention to how ofter it happens. It just doesn't bother me.

I do use people though. Not necessarily in a bad way. I use people to cheer myself up (which could be bad). I use my parents for money, food, and all that good stuff. I never use people for an advantage and throw them away though.

I'm not sure if I am misinterpreting "used" though.

 

[Nicole]

Honestly I'm used all the time, but I can't say I particularly care. I have a bad habit of trying to buy my friends. I loan people small amounts of money at lunch all the time without making them pay me back. Part of the reason is because I know how irritating it is to forget your lunch money and not be able to get lunch, but another part is that I want people to like me. So if they know me as the lunch money person, I don't mind, even though I'm sure my handouts amounted to close to $30-$40 in one year. I also buy gum in bulk and hand it out at lunch or in class like I'm Oprah. Everybody loves the gum person. This year, I plan on keeping a little basket full of basic necessities in my locker (pens, pencils, a calculator that I don't use, Q-tips, a bleach pen, period supplies, etc.) so that I'll always have things if people need them.

This also happened during basketball season; I'd bring extra hair ties, shorts, socks, and sports bras (all clean, obviously) to practice and games in case someone forgot. Our first away game of the season I forgot a hair tie and a sports bra, and let me tell you it was super uncomfortable playing that day. I'll always have extra stuff in my locker in case a teammate needs it. Still, I've had people take my stuff and not give it back quite often. I must have gone through at least 10 hair ties and a pair of socks. At least they gave me the bras back.

People also used to use me in class. It doesn't happen as much in high school as it did in middle school because I don't let it happen. My work is my work and there's no way in hell I'll let people take credit for my A+ quality work. I also used to do all the work in group projects, but I gotta say I slid by quite nicely this year. One project in particular, there were four girls in my group and three of us let one do basically 60% of the project (while I did like 25% and the other girls combined for 15%). I should feel bad about it, but she was so gung-ho that I think she really enjoyed it. And we got the best grade in the class.

The only time I mind using people is if they were somehow hurt (mentally or physically) by it. For me, I think this would encompass cheating (in school or sports) to give myself an advantage. I don't do that, though, because I believe in hard work. I don't care about leeching off people for little things, especially when they know I'm leeching and don't try to stop me. That means they also don't mind.

The only time I'm particularly sensitive about people being taken advantage of is if they're incapable of fighting back. I'm fully able to defend myself from being used, but again, I don't mind it much. If someone is afraid to stand up for themselves or don't know that they're being used, yeah, that would definitely steam my broccoli.

 

[Mellow Ezlo]

I get used for housework and stuff all the time, but that I don't really care about.

The only time I've really felt "used" was when I dated this girl in ninth grade. Well, I'm sure you can see where this is going. She had heard that a boy that liked her would be at this restaurant with his parents. So, she decided for us to go to that exact restaurant. I thought she really wanted to go there, but she really only wanted to talk to him. But, she needed me there so that it looked like she wasn't alone. She dumped me the next day, and I found out later that it was for him.

I believe I may have used people before, but never for anything like that. I use my parents for money sometimes, though. I feel bad about using my Aunt as a means to get a DSLite when they first came out, just to lose it 5 months later. Other than that, though, I don't think I've ever used somebody.

 

[*M i d n a*]

I just want to add that I don't buy friendship. Friendship is something special to me, and though I hardly believe in it for many reasons, still I have some pals/buddies here who I speak to and treat me just the way I want to be treated. I don't use them for my personal gain nor do they use me. (Linknerd09 does stuff for me, but I request it, that's not like me saying: do this for me, Nerdy, I'm just using you. That is not the case at all.) And I surely as hell will never throw some person aside/away, whatever you want to call it--that's called having no heart, and I assure you that I have a big one. I may step away from a lost cause when I see one, and that to me, in case you don't know, is me leaving peeps to do whatever they want when I hear rumors or am told what they think of me, etc. But I don't use and then throw someone into the dumpster as if they were nothing but trash. Peace.

 

[onebizarrekai]

I find that there's a difference in using people, and them doing something kind for you. When I think of somebody being used, I think of them being forced or tricked into doing something. If I asked someone to do something for me, and they did it, I would thank them. I often think of using as a negative term, but if you think of it either way, it happens all the time. I have never used someone in that negative way, but people do things for me all the time and I'm thankful for that.

 

[Kybyrian]

Honestly? No, not often at all. I'm hardly ever used myself because I think I look out for it. I'm also relatively lazy and like to decline things. I also don't give up what's mine easily or go out of my way for people a lot unless it's something that's going to benefit me. That said, I happen to use people a lot. I've subconsciously lied and manipulated people all my life, almost constantly. I don't do it a lot to my closest friends that I really do care about, but it's fairly often that I will use somebody. By the way, people are more receptive to you if you sit at a right angle from them (i.e. both of you at the corner of the table, one on one side and one on the other near each other) or if you gesture with your palm up and open rather than if you point. They're also much more inclined to do something if you disguise it as something which benefits them.

 

[Ayn Stein]

The world only wants what it can get from you. If nobody can lean on you or use you, then you're useless. As I see it, the more people who want to use you, the more useful you are as an individual. Though if you should "lean" on someone then you do something useful in return for the person who is helping you. Don't be a leach.

As example could be a company that uses me to sell stuff. It in return pays me (and thus we use each other).

 

[Wolf Sage]

Yes, yes, and yes. Basically, I am considered "a mute" and a "nice guy" in real life, meaning I rarely talk or express my feelings to others, but underneath my cold visage lies a person who always puts others before himself. My siblings, old friends, my boss, everyone takes advantage of this. When asked for favors and such, I often comply with a "yes," and rarely do I ever protest. They've even gone so far as to try and "butter me up" with comments such as "omg Kurt is so cool; he'll do everyone's laundry while we go out and have fun at the bar" or "Kurt and I are tight; he won't say anything if I did something really dumb, mean, and conniving to anyone behind their back. Hell, he doesn't even talk."

Any event of my saying "no" to anything is met with fierce embitterment and contempt. What I hate the most about this is the fact that I am never in a position to stand up for myself and say "no," for if I did, it'd only result in my being in hot water, even if I was totally in the right. In that sense, my life essentially revolves around being used as a means of survival. Fortunately, things are getting better, as I am improving on voicing my opinion, and I am now in a better position to say "no" to others without facing detrimental repercussions.

 

[pkfroce]

Yeah. I use people. I don't recall ever throwing them away as if they were nothing though. Whenever i use someone, they end up finding out. Plus they're always people I know so we use each other all the time.

However, I've been used by people I don't even know. They threw me away, and I felt like ****. But then I was like, you know what? Screw that. Back to my daily life.

 

[Ventus]

I'm a housemaid by day so yes, I am used quite often. I do my fair share of using people, mostly asking Mother for treats and trips and such.