1000 Chuck Norris Fact List

[Zelda's_Child]

43. Glow sticks do not glow to Chuck Norris. His own glow is too overpowering.

 

[Master]

43. Glow sticks do not glow to Chuck Norris. His own glow is too overpowering.

Wrong , Edward is the only guy who can glow !

44. Under his beard , it's just another fist !

 

[insanity76]

45. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

46. There's no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.

47. Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you into the future. You'll then be able to look back on the day you died.

48. Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.

 

[NaviGator]

49. Chuck Norris took a vacation to the Virgin Islands, and when he came back, they were just called the Islands.

(that's a classic one where I live)

 

[insanity76]

50. Video footage of a bear who was fortunate to cross paths with Chuck Norris on a day when he was feeling merciful:

 

[Byrne]

51. Chuck Norris went to burger king and asked for a big mac...... and he got one.

 

[Ghosi]

52. Chuck Norris went swimming. Hecame back bone dry.

 

[VembersWind]

i'm glad my favorites haven't been used yet.

53. there is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals chuck norris allows to live
54. the great wall of china was originally built to keep chuck norris out, it failed miserably

 

[Master]

49. Chuck Norris took a vacation to the Virgin Islands, and when he came back, they were just called the Islands.

(that's a classic one where I live)

Nice one ^^

50. When the sun goes down , its because chuck norris closes one of his eyes

 

[thelastsheikah]

51. The hair dryer got electricuted when it fell into Chuck Norris' bath.
52. Chuck Norris has a six pack on his chin.
53. Street lights don`t dare tell Chuck Norris to stop.

 

[Zelda's_Child]

Wrong , Edward is the only guy who can glow !

Don't you DARE remind me of Twilight!! gawsh... yeesh...

54. Archeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It’s actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it’s simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.

55. Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

56. When God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said,"Say please."

(Yes, Master, these came from UD!! )

 

[enemytracker]

57. In an average living room, there are over 12,421 objects that Chuck Norris can use to kill you.
58. If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, check the extincted species list.
59. There's no mass destruction weapons in Iraq, Chuck Norris doesn't live there.
60. Chuck Norris invented a language that consists in karate and round house kicks, so, if he kicks your a**, don't be offended, he just wanted to tell you that he liked your hat.
61. Jesus can walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.

 

[insanity76]

62. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling Aliens "Don't make me come up there."

63. Zebras used to be pure white, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a nearby tiger.

64. Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The Grim Reaper just doesn't have the courage to tell him he's dead.

 

[NaviGator]

65. Chuck Norris once fell and the ground missed him. -66. Chuck Norris' Elegy of Emptiness Statue will scare you off the earth. -67. Chuck Norris has the heart of a lion. In a bottle. In a shed. -68. Did you know Chuck Norris was on vacation in Hiroshima when they dropped the A-bomb....he got a sun burn (Sorry about the run-together line, it wont do anything when I press ENTER.)

 

[ikilltoonlink]

69. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch you in the soul
70. Some magicians can walk on water, but, Chuck Norris can swim through land