You're banned because some stars exploded and some other stuff happened, then you and I eventually happened, then I created this forum game, and then you played it and it's all happening because of star explosions and it's awesome to think about.
You're banned because the universe has played out in just the right way that you would one day be born, join this forum, post in this game, and get pretend banned.
You're banned because I continuously have to keep pointing out to people that they're using the wrong form of you're. It's in the freaking title of the game!