In the future the sun is consuming Earth. And it's not slow. (OOOOH. I see.)
I wish I had a button that I could press that whenever I pressed it all the little kids currently on the Earth just spontaneously combust. Those snotty little rodents! Little kids are like feral dogs! Disgusting...
You get Mida's Touch (whatever that is) but everyone thinks you're some sort of black witch and they try to burn you at the stake. They succeed.
I wish I had a bowl of mac'n'cheese.