I didn't mean for her, I believe her, I meant for him.
Do you believe that platonic relationships are genuine?
- Thread starter Triforce King
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It's a more a form of platonic love as there is no sexual element involved and I consider that to be a part of romantic love. We havent even established an element apart from the sexual that truly separates the platonic from the romantic. Jealousy can occur in both. It is atypical to experience the same degree in friendships as with romantic relationships, but it is atypical for people to be in romantic relationships without wanting or having sex and experiencing sexual jealousy. There is not an official name for what the love between asexuals would be but is it not similar to a platonic familial love?
@LittleGumball I am not denying that two asexuals can want to spend their lives together. However I'm saying its a non romantic love. There is an element not present that would mean it is something else.
Is a broom a broom if it has a handle yet no brush? No it's a handle so why call it a broom?
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LittleGumball
Slammin' Salmon
Is a person a person if it has a fully functioning body yet no sex drive?
(the answer is yes)
How is it not romantic love? What is real love to you? Is it genuinely caring about another person or is it just smashing your genitals together? Because I do not have the energy to carry on this conversation if you can't accept that love can't not involve sex. Asexual people can and do experience real, true, romantic love.
The major elements are still there to make a man a man even with no legs. However can a man kick with no legs? He can kick with his arm you say? No that's called a punch.
Platonic love is real love. It's the sexual elements either sex, sexual desire or sexual jealousy that separate it from romantic love.
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It's the combo and love and lust that makes your love for Gretchen a romantic one.
Love can exist without lust - platonic relationshp
Lust without love- booty call
Lust with love- romantic relationship
Jamie
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Actually an interesting thought. However, I'd argue this is wrong. Someone who is asexual still may want to embrace, cuddle with, and kiss a particular person but no one but them, but have no sexual desires towards them. Is that not then a romantic love that is separate from platonic love with friends and family? I would say it is.
It would be a special relationship yes with the pair agreeing to put each other first, but why is it more a romantic relationship than a platonic one since there is no sexual desire involved. Don't people cuddle with their special friends or even family. Men don't tend to be particularly huggy with each other usually but I see girl frends often do that sort of thing.
A mother kisses and cuddles her child and it returns the action. People like a cuddle with their family.
If by kiss you mean like making out? Does this commonly occur in asexual partnerships? I have personally made out with someone I didn't desire and it did nothing for me, there was no enjoyment to it at all so I assume it would be the case also for asexuals who do not have those desires for each other.
Jamie
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I can't see myself cuddling in my boxers and making out with my mom, don't know about you. I think your definition of romance is a bit ****ed up. Myself, being bisexual but heteroromantic, would not feel comfortable at all kissing a boy, but would do sexual things with one. I actually think kissing someone passionately is more romantic than smashing your genitals against theirs.
I don't see that happening either but again I asked do asexuals enjoy this with each other?
People do enjoy cuddling with their family and friends in a non sexual way and since asexuals do not act in a sexual way it would be the same for them surely.
Jamie
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I would never kiss a guy passionately and I find it to be a larger display of romance than sex. If I got a prostitute and ****ed them I wouldn't consider it very romantic. I think your definition of romance is very shallow.
That's just a strange idea to me. That someone wouldnt kiss someone who they were sexually attracted to. In my view a kiss or sex is just meaningless fun unless you actually care about the person you are doing it with.
Jamie
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This is like a straight person saying they don't get why gay guys like having sex with other guys. It's my romantic orientation that the thought of kissing another man repulses me. I can't explain it beyond that.
It's easy for me to see any girl and want to be with them romantically. I only have a few friendships with women and I'd love to take it up to the next level with them all. There are a lot of men and women like that out there (I hope) so a platonic relationship with a girl for me is almost impossible.
I think it must be a case by case basis. Some people it's not possible, some people it is. You'd never truly know until you were in someone else's shoes.
I think this is where I start splitting hairs, honestly. But I'll work with your question about why someone wouldn't kiss someone who they were sexually attracted to. You might find it ****e, but it's what I've got.
For some people, a lot of people even, possibly at its core, kissing and sex is a meaningful act inherently. If it weren't, you'd kiss just about anyone wouldn't you? But it seems like a lot of folks don't kiss just about anyone. Kissing and sex are expressions of vulnerability and intimacy with others. And even the types of kissing regularly break down into different categories. Compare the chaste kiss of a father to his daughter with that of a frenzied make-out between one night lovers. Clearly there is a difference. I'm going to suggest to you that difference isn't actually between the sexual and the platonic. I mean it is, but the real difference between those two things is the message being communicated.
In one case, the message is something about attraction, pleasure, lust, etc (lovers). In the other case, it is an appreciation of beauty, family, preciousness, etc. In one case, there is also an expression of a relationship which will continue to exist and acknowledges previous history (father/daughter). Not so with the lovers.
So you've half put to me "why would someone not kiss someone they were attracted to?". My answer is that A: Kissing and sex do carry fundamental meaning if only via communication and B: Perhaps you value communicating a message to that person more than you value your fancying them. Perhaps, you wish more than a sexual desire, to communicate something more significant.
I'm not sure if you've had a significant other who meant very much to you, but I think it is fair at least in my own life to estimate that of all the boys I've kissed, not all the boys received the same kiss or message. And in the case the boys who I kissed more than once, not every kiss was the same or sent the same message. There were many kisses devoid of sexual attraction and many that were, but all were in their own way romantic. Those kisses you'd call platonic were nothing like the pecks given to my brothers or parents. They were nothing like the ones given to best friends or friends.
Why? Well, I'm not exactly sure why. But I would say it is because I loved my boyfriend at the time in an intimate way that cannot be compared to the greatest friendships I've had. Something was fundamentally different about those kisses. I think it might have to do with the idea of a very close knit unit of "us" that is hoped to not be leaving. I think it has something to do with hoping for a life literally together. I think it has something to do with a sense of being a team without being in competition.
But why would I want to just be friends with someone I were attracted to? Because I realize somewhere in my head, that they aren't going to be that person. I realize that I am much better competing with them and pushing them in ways I never would to someone I wanted to be with in the other way. Because they've got loads more to offer me as a friend than they would as a significant other. Being a significant other is an entirely different commitment. That doesn't, however, hamper my ability to recognize their sexual attractiveness.