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The Official ZD Jokes Thread

Batman

Not all those who wander are lost...
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Location
40 lights off the Galactic Rim
Gender
Dan-kin
Here's a place to post jokes. Ones you've heard, ones you've created, whatever you want. Feel free to post jokes and anti-jokes, text jokes or clips of stand-up comedy, etc.

Keep the jokes PG-13 I guess, or R if you think you can get away with it. If it were up to me you could post anything you want, but the mods might not appreciate it like I would. So, no shock value extremely mean jokes or anything.

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Batman

Not all those who wander are lost...
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Location
40 lights off the Galactic Rim
Gender
Dan-kin
Two old men are out on the golf course one morning playing their usual round of golf when a funeral procession comes down the street next to the green on which they are putting. One of the old men notices the procession and immediately stops in the middle of his putt. He calmly steps away from his ball, removes his cap, and bows his head in silence as the procession passes by.

The other old man is amazed at his friend's reverence for the deceased. "That was truly one of the most touching and thoughtful acts I've ever seen from you." he says.

"Well I figure it's the least I could do. After all, we were married for 40 years."
 

Batman

Not all those who wander are lost...
Joined
Oct 8, 2011
Location
40 lights off the Galactic Rim
Gender
Dan-kin
A missionary is sent into the most isolated parts of Africa to live with a tribe. One day, the wife of one of the tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white baby. The village chief confronts the missionary: "You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here, a black woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man who has ever set foot in our village!" The missionary replies, "No, no. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what is called an albino. Look over at that field. See the flock of white sheep? - and yet amongst them one of them is black. Nature does this on occasion."

"Tell you what," the chief says, "I won't tell on you ... you don't tell on me."
 

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