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General Art ROTD (New Version Previews)

*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
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Entity
Alright, due to popular demand I had to post a preview of what's to come. Jk, :P This is the new introduction to the story that I wrote here long ago: Rise of the Dragir. The old story began with a group of young dragir waiting at some ruins. They were told of dire times and were sorted into two groups afore being taken to take care of a mission, a mission which was to save a recently new born child (Tetra) from the grasp of a dark being. Most of what I wrote for that story and the sequel will remain, but I will remove all Zelda related stuff because I will publish this series. New characters will make an appearance, some submitted and some invented by me. Anyway, don't know if this will be the only preview I will be showing, if I do add any others it will be here as well. I'm pretty easy to convince, so if you by chance happen to read this new introduction and like what you read, let me know and I will probably post more from the story. ~Atsuma

Prologue: The News

Somewhere near the border between Pancracia and Dragiria, September 12th, Year 1854 (3450)

The moon shone brightly and the stars flickered with life high above the nightly sky. No clouds hung over the region, but a gentle, cool breeze flew from the west across the lands. Unperturbed by it and hidden behind the shadows of the night, two godly figures shared a conversation as they stood staring at some far away lights that could be seen to the west of their position.

“Your mother is surely is not kidding around, is she?”

“No, Aunt,” came the quick, brittle reply from the other figure. “If she chose a royal child to bear one of the marks this time around, she’s got her reasons. The lass will be born in three more days and nights, right when the moon will be full. You know how the procedure works, Aunt Myrokth.”

Myrokth, who was the taller of the two figures at five-ten, knew how the procedure to mark chosen ones with a unique heavenly sign worked, but she shifted uneasily in her place and coughed. Then, after issuing forth a loud sigh, she asked: “What about the other two marks, Koleia? Did Ambrossia mention who were those destined to receive them?”

Having no response to that answer, Koleia, one of two Elemental deities born to the current All-Mother Ambrossia, just shook her head as she dropped her gaze to the barren darkened ground. “I don’t know about the other two, my mother did not mention anything about them. I was only sent to inform you of the news about the newborn and to let you know that she wants you to protect that child.”

Myrokth cleared her throat. “I’m quite disappointed at my sister,” she said in a serious way, and if Koleia could have seen her hardened face, she’d become aware that her aunt was upset.

“Why, Aunt?”

“Because of the fact that a royal baby cannot make a wish,” explained Myrokth. “Time has to pass for the lass to be able to do that. I-I am really lost for words here, Koleia. What was Ambrossia thinking?”

Lost for words as well, Koleia just shook her head.

“You know what I think, Niece?”

“No. What?”

“That Ambrossia needs to stop playing this absurd game and come down here and end this madness once and for all. I have seen so much blood and loss of life for too long that I wish it would all just disappear. To be honest with you, Koleia, I don’t know whether I can keep going with this mortal guardian role much longer.”

“I understand you, Aunt,” the soft response from Koleia was heard, the goddess staring at her aunt as she said it. “In Celestia I see pretty much what you and your Dragir see down here: rivers of blood, war, and too much death. Regalon’s forces come at us relentlessly every day. I can’t stand it, can’t stand the blood, the many monsters and creatures that I kill. Just like you, I wish it could all just come to an abrupt end for the better of all of us. If things continue as they are, we are destined for a bad ending.”

Myrokth, who was queen of a race known as the Dragir, shook her head twice in bitter disappointment. With the words that her niece had spoken she understood that Ambrossia, the current ruler of the universe, had her hands full dealing with her own problems in Celestia, the realm of the deities. The Dragir queen took heart at the mere fact that at least her sister preserved some of the old laws set by those who’d govern the universe before her. By doing that, Ambrossia gave the mortals a chance via a wish to make things right if they wanted it so. So far, though, fourteen tries had failed over a lapse of fourteen centuries, three of those coming under Ambrossia’s own ruling time since she had taken the throne in the heavens three centuries ago when her cousin Sigma had been slain in battle by the forces of evil. No wish to right the wrong or make the world perfect as it once had been at the beginning of time had never been made by a marked mortal or any other being. The forces of evil had always prevailed by killing the bearers of the other two marks, thus never acquiring a wish to be had because the mark was not meant for them to make a wish. That honor was just for the humans, who had been robbed of their perfection, but even though the creatures of darkness could not make a wish when they obtained the bearers marks, they surely gained more power with every successful kill of the bearers. Because of that gain of power, now even Celestia was threatened by the dark forces of evil just as the mortals were threatened under the constant harassment of horrible beasts and monsters that had remained in the world after so many conflicts between good and evil deities had taken place on earth.

“So, what are you going to do to protect the little one?” Koleia asked, surely concerned about the whole problem. “With the way things are down here, and your own revolutionary war to deal with, I am sure it will not be that easy a task, eh?”

Myrokth turned to regard her niece. Koleia had medium-length curly, silvery hair that fell at her back and a pair of dreamy, grayish eyes. Her skin was light tan, and she wore white armor over her heavenly two-piece, dark attire, as well as a silver-colored tiara with several jewels on the front. At her back, whenever she called, a pair of angel wings would magical sprout so she could fly, but Koleia was wingless at the moment.

Myrokth, on the other hand, was already 2580 years old, but she resembled a beautiful thirty year old woman. Even with all the troubles weighing down on her, the old goddess seemed sturdy enough before her niece. Myrokth had a pair of dark horns on her head. Her skin was peachy and soft and had random, dark dragon-like scales showing on her arms, neck, and face. Her hair was bobbed and of a dark color with a white streak on the front. Her emerald eyes, which had adjusted to the darkness of the night minutes ago when they had arrived there, could see Koleia’s kid-like face well. Myrokth noticed a bit of fear behind that naive stare.

“What I do always, little one,” she replied. “I will organize a party of my best warriors, go in to retrieve the marked pup, and keep her safe from our relatives’ grasp. As you well know, they don’t miss a single beat, they will send their own forces when they learn the news, especially my cousin Aura-Magna, who has spread her power all over the lands these last few years.”

“Ah, yes, my aunt Aura-Magna,” Koleia’s voice carried a hint of sadness as well as dread. “She’s been trying to find Regalon’s body so she can attempt to bring him back to life. This has my mother and perhaps all of Celestia concerned, and more so because of the fact that Aura-Magna has not been secretive about her plans. It’s as if she wants us to know what she’s doing.”

“She’s definitely up to something,” said Myrokth, her tone angry. “But her efforts have paid no dividends yet, and I hope it continues that way. The dark lord must remain lost; he’s a loss to us all.”

“Indeed,” Koleia approved with a loud gulp.

“You spoke correctly when you said that it was not going to be easy this time around, Koleia,” Myrokth went on. “There’s too much going on down here at the moment. And the humans will not be giving up the girl so easily, either. They will do whatever they can to keep the babe in their hands and away from harm.”

Koleia nodded at that and sighed loudly. “Wish I could stay and help you with this matter, but my time in this world is short-lived. Mother wants me back soon.”

“How soon?” Myrokth asked, giving her niece a serious look.

“Like right after I am done talking with you,” Koleia did not sound too happy. She sighed and added, “I really wanted to visit your palace, Aunt.”

Myrokth sighed as well, surely troubled and disappointed. “I wish we had more time, Ko,” she lamented in sadness. “I really do.”

Ko was the nickname that Myrokth had given Koleia some seven centuries ago. She often used that instead of calling her by her real name, and Koleia loved to be called Ko by her relatives. Only her aunt Myrokth and another of her aunts called her that, though, but her other aunt had long ago forgotten about everyone and the world and had just been living in total seclusion. No one knew of her whereabouts or what she did, not even Ambrossia.

Koleia asked. “Why, Aunt?”

After a few seconds of silence, Myrokth replied, “Because I miss the good old days we once lived in Celestia. Remember how we used to play in the gardens? Me chasing after you and my...” Myrokth suddenly became silent, lowered her head down, and then added after a three second’s pause. “...sisters...”

Koleia did remember, and just like her aunt had done so, she too, lowered her head down feeling sour.

“Wonderful times those were back then,” grieved Koleia. “But ever since Regalon killed my Grandfather and Grandmother, and then he dying at the hands of Arektarys, and he at the hands of Aura-Magna, it is all just been hate, war, and death everywhere...I hate it!”

Koleia suddenly burst out crying.

Myrokth raised her head and stared at her niece, obviously having felt the pain that Koleia felt within. She walked towards her and embraced her, using her right hand to pat her on the back over her precious egg-white armor.

“One day, Ko,” she comforted her. “One day it will all be back to normal. One day everything will be as it was.”

“W-When?” Koleia’s voice sounded so sad and hurt that it deeply stung the Dragir queen’s heart and made her shiver like never before. Indeed, when? Myrokth knew that the madness, the evil permeating the mortal lands and the heavens had to end. The goddess swallowed hard because she found no answer as to when that would come to happen.

“One day. You’ll see, Ko. Just be strong for me, and patient, alright?”

Koleia did not nod or say a word, the young goddess just felt like remaining in that position—with her aunt hugging and comforting her—forever.
Minutes later, though, to the displeasure of both, Koleia sadly returned to the heavenly realm of Celestia via a created portal, but not before having wished good luck to her aunt for the grave trials that were still to unfold in Jindaha, as the earthly realm was called.

*****​
 
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Eduarda

Srishti is annie is eduarda right?
Joined
May 28, 2010
Location
Ontario, Canada.
Oh my gosh, this part was so beautiful! I love it! The words, the mood, the depth, the everything! A masterpiece, Ao! Really! So beautiful! :love:

Just a few mistakes, but I loved that part so much!

“That Ambrossia needs to stop playing this absurd game and come down here and end this madness once and for all. I’ve seen so much blood and loss of life for too long that I wish it would all just disappear. To be honest with you, Koleia, I don’t know whether I can keep going with this “mortal guardian” role any longer.”

Since the bolded part is already in a quote, I do believe that you are supposed to use ' and ' around them :)

Myrokth, who was queen of a race known as the Dragir, shook her head twice in bitter disappointment. With the words that her niece had spoken she understood that Ambrossia, the current ruler of the universe, had her hands full dealing with her own problems in Celestia, the realm of the deities. The Dragir queen took heart at the mere fact that at least her sister preserved some of the old laws set by those who’d govern the universe before her. By doing that, Ambrossia gave the mortals a chance via a wish to make things right if they wanted it so. So far, though, fourteen tries had failed over a lapse of fourteen centuries, three of those coming under Ambrossia’s own ruling time since she had taken the throne in the heavens three centuries ago when her cousin Sigma had been slain in battle by the forces of evil. No wish to right the wrong or make the world perfect as it once had been had never been made by a marked mortal or any other being; the forces of evil had always prevailed by killing the bearers of the other two marks, thus never acquiring a wish to be had but surely gaining more power that now even Celestia was threatened just as the mortals were threatened under the constant harassment of horrible beasts and monsters that had remained in the world after so many conflicts between good and evil deities had taken place on earth.

Was "had" been repeated twice here, or was it supposed to be like that?

And in some places, "Aunt" was capitalized, and in others, it was not. I suggest you either capitalize all of it, or not :)

I really can't wait to read more :D Please do post more!

<3
 

*M i d n a*

Æsir Scribe
Joined
Aug 18, 2009
Location
*Midgard*
Gender
Entity
Oh my gosh, this part was so beautiful! I love it! The words, the mood, the depth, the everything! A masterpiece, Ao! Really! So beautiful! :love:

Just a few mistakes, but I loved that part so much!

Since the bolded part is already in a quote, I do believe that you are supposed to use ' and ' around them :)



Was "had" been repeated twice here, or was it supposed to be like that?

And in some places, "Aunt" was capitalized, and in others, it was not. I suggest you either capitalize all of it, or not :)

I really can't wait to read more :D Please do post more!

<3

Well thanks for reading, Annie. I really appreciate that. :)

And now, on to the mistakes you pointed out. Yes, the first one I was actually going to use italics on it, but decided to go with that, however--I think you are right. So I will surely be editing that ASAP.

Now, the second mistake is not wrong, but it sounds kinda weird, I will give you that. Maybe I will remove the word once and insert the word before after been, so that it reads like this: No wish to right the wrong or make the world perfect as it had been before had never been made by a marked mortal or any other being; the forces of evil had always prevailed by killing the bearers of the other two marks, thus never acquiring a wish to be had but surely gaining more power that now even Celestia was threatened just as the mortals were threatened under the constant harassment of horrible beasts and monsters that had remained in the world after so many conflicts between good and evil deities had taken place on earth.

I hope that sounds a lot better. :P And thanks for showing me those mistake.

edit--

Btw, I am only capitalizing aunt when a character talks to/or refers to that character as aunt, father, mother, brother, etc. I don't do it when that is not the case, so that's probably right as well.

2nd Edit--

I added some new text in order to correct what Annie pointed out. It's in red. ;)
 
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